Terms & Conditions of Secrecy
BECCA-FEST CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENT
1. DEFINITIONS
"The Party" refers to the surprise birthday celebration known as BECCA-FEST. "The Birthday Girl" refers to Becca, who must remain blissfully unaware of The Party's existence. "You" refers to the person about to ruin everything if they can't keep their mouth shut.
2. OBLIGATION OF SECRECY
By creating an account, you solemnly swear, under penalty of severe tutting and disappointed looks, that you shall not reveal any details of The Party to The Birthday Girl. This includes but is not limited to: the date, the venue, the existence of this website, suspicious winking, overly enthusiastic denials, or any sentence beginning with "Don't tell Becca, but..."
3. PERMITTED COMMUNICATIONS
You may discuss The Party with other registered guests, provided such discussions occur in hushed tones, encrypted messages, or via the time-honoured tradition of meaningful glances across the room.
4. BREACH OF TERMS
Any breach of these terms may result in: (a) being placed on permanent washing-up duty at all future events; (b) forfeiture of your right to the good crisps; and (c) eternal shame.
5. DURATION
These terms remain in effect until The Birthday Girl walks through the door and everyone shouts "SURPRISE!" — at which point this agreement shall be considered fulfilled and you may finally relax.
Last updated: the moment you read this.